Temubual seorang pemuda dengan pakcik gembala biri-biri.
Pemuda : Baguslah ternakan biri-biri pakcik. Boleh saya tanya beberapa soalan tak?
Pakcik : Boleh aje…
Pemuda : Berapa jauh biri-biri ni berjalan setiap hari?
Pakcik : Yang mana, yang putih atau yang hitam?”
Pemuda : Yang putih.
Pakcik : Kalau yang putih berjalan lebih kurang enam kilometer setiap hari.
Pemuda : Yang hitam?
Pakcik : Yang hitam pun sama…
Pemuda : Berapa banyak plak rumput biri-biri ni makan setiap hari?
Pakcik : Yang mana, yang putih atau yang hitam?
Pemuda : Yang putih?
Pakcik : Ah, yang putih makan lebih kurang empat kilo rumput setiap hari.
Pemuda : Dan yang hitam?
Pakcik : Yang hitam pun sama…
Pemuda : Berapa banyak bulu yang mereka hasilkan setiap tahun?
Pakcik : Yang mana, yang putih atau yang hitam?
Pemuda : Yang putih?
Pakcik : Aaa…yang putih menghasilkan sekitar enam kilo bulu setiap tahun.
Pemuda : Dan yang hitam?
Pakcik : Yang hitam pun sama…
Pemuda : Kenapa pakcik membezakan biri-biri pakcik yg putih dgn yg hitam, padahal jawapan semuanya sama aje?
Pakcik : Mestilah…sebab biri-biri yang putih itu pakcik yang punya.
Pemuda : Ooo, gitu ke…abis tu yang hitam tu sapa punya?
Pakcik : Yang hitam pun sama….
We have left, right nose, is that the same for inhale and exhale? Actually they are different, can feel the difference; right side represent the sun, left side represent the moon.
When having headache, try to close right nose and use your left nose to do your breathing, about 5 mins, headache will be gone.
If you feel tired, do it the opposite round, close your left nose and breathe through your right nose. After a while, you will feel your mind is fresh again.
Right side belongs to heat, so it gets hot easily, left side belongs to cold.
Most of the girls breathe with their left nose, so their heart gets cold easily.
Most of the guys breathe with their right nose, so they get angry easily
Do you notice the moment we wake up, which side breathes faster? Left or right? If left is faster, you will feel tired. So, close your left nose and use your right nose for breathing, you will get refresh quickly.
Always breathing your body can feel very relax
1. If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it Fed UP?
2. Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?
3. If olive oil comes from olives, where does baby oil come from?
4. If people from Poland are called Poles, why aren’t people from Holland called Holes?
5. Do infants enjoy infancy as much as adults enjoy adultery?
6. Why the man who invests all your money called a broker?
7. If horrific means to make horrible, does terrific mean to make terrible?
8. Why is it called building when it is already built?
9. If a book about failures doesn’t sell, is it a success?
10. If you’re not supposed to drink and drive, then why do Bars have parking lots?
11. If you take an Oriental person and spin him around several times, does he become disoriented?
12. If vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat?? Human ???
13 . If working hours are meant for working, then why are you reading this??? Get Back to WORK !
A man escapes from prison where he has been for 15 years. He breaks into a house to look for money and guns and finds a young couple in bed.
He orders the guy out of bed and ties him to a chair, while tying the girl to the bed he gets on top of her, kisses her neck, then gets up and goes into the bathroom. While he’s in there, the husband tells his wife:
“Listen, this guy’s an escaped prisoner, look at his clothes! He probably spent lots of time in jail and hasn’t seen a woman in years. I saw how he kissed your neck.” If he wants sex, don’t resist, don’t complain, do whatever he tells you. Satisfy him no matter how much he nauseates you. This guy is probably very dangerous. If he gets angry, he’ll kill us. Be strong, honey. I love you.”
To which his wife responds: “He wasn’t kissing my neck. He was whispering in my ear. He told me he was gay, thought you were cute, and asked me if we had any vaseline. I told him it was in the bathroom. Be strong honey. I love you too!!”
