Tech Support   : “I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.”
Customer       : “Ok.”
Tech Support   : “Did you get a pop-up menu?”
Customer       : “No.”
Tech Support   : “Ok. Right click again. Do you   see a pop-up menu?”
Customer       : “No.”
Tech Support   : “Ok, sir. Can you tell me what  you have done up until this point?”
Customer       : “Sure, you told me to write ‘click’  and I wrote ‘click’.”

—————————————-

Customer       : “I received the software update  you sent, but I am still getting the same error  message.”
Tech Support    : “Did you install the update?”
Customer    : “No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?”

————————————————–

Customer      : “I’m having trouble installing Microsoft Word.”
Tech Support    : “Tell me what you’ve done.”
Customer    : “I typed ‘A: SETUP’.”
Tech Support    : “Ma’am, remove the disk and  tell me what it says.”
Customer    : “It says ‘[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery disk’.”
Tech Support    : “Insert the MS Word setup disk.”
Customer    : “What?”
Tech Support    : “Did you buy MS word?”
Customer    : “No…”

————————————————–

Customer      : “Do I need a computer to use your software?”
Tech Support  : ?!%#$   (welll pretend to smile)

————————————————–

Tech Support   : “Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen, can you see the ‘OK’ button displayed?”
Customer       : “Wow. How can you see my screen from there?”
Tech support   : &!^&*@#*

————————————————–

Tech Support  : “What type of computer do you have?”
Customer      : “A white one.”
Tech support  : *&^!@#^%

————————————————–

Customer      : “I have Microsoft Exploder.”
Tech Support  : ?!%#$
————————————————–

Customer      : “How do I print my voicemail?”
Tech support  : *&!^#@&^!#

————————————————–

Customer      : “You’ve got to fix my computer.  I urgently need to print document, but the computer won’t boot properly.”
Tech Support  : “What does it say?”
Customer      : “Something about an error and non-system disk.”
Tech Support  : “Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?”
Customer      : “No, but there’s a sticker saying  there’s an Intel inside.”
Tech support  : *&^!#@&^%@#

————————————————–

Tech Support  : “Just call us back if  there’s a problem. We’re open 24 hours.”
Customer      : “Is that Eastern time?”

————————————————–

Tech Support   : “What does the screen say  now?”
Customer       : “It says, ‘Hit ENTER when ready’.”
Tech Support   : “Well?”
Customer       : “How do I know when it’s ready?”
Tech support   : !*&^$*&@#^$

————————————————–

Tech Support    : I need a product identification number right now and may I help u in finding it out?
Customer         : sure
Tech Support    : could u left click on start and do u find ‘My Computer’?
Customer          : I did left click but how the hell do I find your computer?